Stories the Officers Woudn't Tell: The Seven Inch Water Leaper
by Irish Story Teller
Summary: A strange new creature suddenly appears on board the Titanic by flinging itself against the window of the bridge. What could this strange be and why is it interested in the officers?
1. Chapter 1

Stories the Officers Wouldn't Tell: The Seven Inch Water Leaper

Disclaimer: All Titanic characters belong to their respective owners and to history. I make no claims to them. All non-Titanic characters are mine and made by me. I make no money off this story as it is written for entertainment purposes only.

Chapter One

After that encounter with the fairy folk and the magical chest the officers of the Titanic were certain they had seen and encountered it all.

Yet, somehow, life had a way of throwing things into their path that they did not expect to encounter…nor would they ever forget.

Second Officer Charles Lightoller looked almost bored looking out the window on the bridge. It was as if someone was playing a game of tossing something on the window only to have it bounce off and then repeat the process.

Curiosity began to take over Captain Smith when he heard a thumping noise that would not go away. Whoever was causing the noise certainly had a steady rhythm going and it clearly had some sort of intelligence.

"Mister Lightoller, what is—gah!" The captain exclaimed when the creature threw itself against the window again.

The creature's large gaping mouth pressed against the window to reveal small sharp teeth. As soon as it appeared it fell from sight.

"I have no idea, sir," Charles admitted. "It's not very bright whatever it is. It's either attempting suicide by window or it gets some sort of satisfaction by throwing itself against glass. Do you think it could be a mating ritual, sir?"

"Mister Lightoller!"

"Animals do all sorts of odd things in the wild, sir!"

Upon hearing the commotion Sixth Officer James Paul Moody hurried up to the bridge. "I heard shouting! Is something wrong?"

Straightening his back Captain Smith spoke, "Mister Moody, take a look out that window and tell me what you see."

To say James was rather confused and curious at the same time would be an understatement. Still an order was an order so he calmly walked forward and looked down. "It looks like a frog without any legs. It has bat wings for what I think are arms and a lizard-like tail. That's really clever but rather ugly looking. Who made it?"

"It's alive, Mister Moody," Charles explained.

"Really? Nature has a strange, strange sense of humor."

"You're being rather calm about this."

"I haven't had my coffee yet and it's a bit too early for me to be getting freaked out by things like this."

"What do you think it wants?" Charles asked while the creature flung itself against the window.

"It could be hungry, attempting to beach itself, or maybe it's mating season and it thinks we have a female. Do these things even have a mating season? How do they reproduce?"

No one could explain nor could they forget the amount of bellowing the ship's captain did over his officer's discussion on the creature's mating habits.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two

The discussion of what the mysterious creature was was quite the talk on board the bridge.

Fourth Officer Joseph Boxhall had argued that it could be a creature that was yet undiscovered. "How much of the ocean have we actually explored?"

"He's got a point," James agreed and Charles nodded.

"But that doesn't explain what it wants," Joseph added. "Do you think we should try feeding it?"

"I'm not sticking my hand out there!" James quickly said. "With those teeth it'll surely bite something of mine off!"

"Perhaps we could put it on a leash," Charles said.

"Yes, you can put it on a leash," Joseph said.

"What? Me?"

"It was your idea! All in favor of Lights doing it?"

Immediately both Joseph and James raised their hands.

"Oh, you two are going to be scrubbing the boilers with your tooth brushes for a week!" Charles snapped.

"What's this about scrubbing boilers?" Third Officer Herbert Pitman asked. "I heard Lights making a threat."

"We're trying to decide who's going to put a leash on that thing," James said and jerked his thumb in the direction of the creature who flew at the window.

Herbert raised an eyebrow causing the other three men to anxiously await his opinion on what the creature was. Each was certain Herbert would claim it was from the latest science fiction writer or scream that some sort of apocalypse was upon them.

Instead Herbert simply shrugged and said, "It's going to get a sore head if it keeps on doing that."

"Do you know what it is?" Joseph cautiously asked.

"Not a clue! It's ugly, whatever it is. What does it want? Is it mating season for their species?"

"Beggin' yer pardon, but did anyone just hear the captain shout?" First Class stewardess Mayda O'Brian asked. She stood in the doorway holding a large tray full of tea cups and looking rather confused.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three

Immediately each officer on board the bridge began to rapidly explain the day's events to the stewardess and demanded her opinion on what it was.

"Yer not familiar wit' Welsh legends, are ye?" Mayda asked.

"I can't say that any of us are," Joseph admitted.

"It's a Water Leaper! I had heard of them but I've never seen one before."

"What does it want? Is it trying to mate with something?"

"There's that scream again," Mayda said and shook her head. "It preys on livestock and Welsh fishermen."

"It's a very confused water leaper then! We don't have any live stock on board nor do we have any Welsh fishermen! The closest we have is Harry!"

James was half listening to the conversation as he looked out the window. "Uh, boys, and lady, is that water leaper holding what I think it is?"

Herbert glanced out the window as well, "It looks like a book…It says 'The Human Menu'."

"Don't tell me we're going to have to sacrifice Harry to this thing! Come on, last week the captain was invited to dance naked around that fairy ring with that wealthy lady Miss Ruby!" Charles shrieked.

The next scream did not come from the Captain but from the other deck officers.

"No! That mental image will not take root in my mind!" Joseph wailed.

"Oh, is Miss Ruby still doin' that?" Mayda innocently asked.

"Why, did you participate?" Charles asked.

"Maybe. Did the captain?"

"Maybe," Captain Smith's voice calmly replied.

"Oh dear," Mayda said when each of the deck officers on the bridge screamed again.

"What's all bloody the screaming about?" Fifth Officer Harold Lowe demanded. "I was trying to sleep!"

"Don't ask unless you want to be mentally tortured forever!" James told him.

"The stewards were playing strip poker again?"

"What? No!"

"Then what?"

"The captain…"

"Ooooooooooh. I've heard the story."

"And…?"

"I try not to think about it."

Charles felt he had enough of this endless conversation that was going nowhere. Seizing Harold by the arm he dragged him to the window. "What do you think of that?"

Harold and the water leaper made eye contact. Immediately the water leaper's pupils grew wide before it launched itself at the window. It was thwarted by the glass but that did not stop it as it leapt again and again at the glass.

A high pitched cry tore itself from Harold's throat followed by the words "Kill it! Kill the bloody thing! Kill it!"


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter Four

Once the near hyperventilating Harold Lowe was calm enough to speak Joseph asked, "What does it want? Is it trying to initiate a mating ritual?"

"There's that scream again," Mayda said. "Ye men have got to stop mentionin' matin' rituals!"

"Species reproduce all the time! We've never encountered this thing before so we're curious," Herbert said.

"I think it wants to eat him," James said. Immediately his mind was flooded with images of Harold Lowe sitting inside a large stew pot. The water leaper was wearing a chef's hat and was busy adding ingredients while looking over the words in its copy of "The Human Menu."

"That mental image will keep him distracted for a little while. So, now, what do we do about it and Harry?" Charles asked.

"Kill it!" Harold snapped. "Put it in a stew pot! The chef can come up with something!"

"I'm afraid to ask how it would taste," Herbert admitted. "We don't even know if it's edible!"

"Throw some carrots and some seasoning in there and it'll be fine," Charles calmly said.

"Ye have eaten some strange things in yer lifetime, haven't ye?" Mayda asked.

"You have no idea."

Harold was furiously shaking his head, "Nope! I'm never stepping outside as long as that thing is alive! Not doing it!"

"What if it gets inside?" James asked once he snapped out of the mental images he had.

"You're not helping!"

Charles cut in, "We were thinking about putting it on a leash to keep it from getting to Harry."

"Oh sure, make it into a pet! Like that plan never goes wrong!" Harold sarcastically said and folded his arms across his chest. "There's only one thing to do—kill it!"

"I have to agree," Herbert said. "I'm all for 'it's one of God's creatures' but that thing even gives me the heebie-jeebies."

"You're just saying that because you can't relate it to any of your favorite science fiction authors," Joseph replied. "Oh, real mature! Stick your tongue out at me!"

"Ummm…gentlemen, we've got a problem," Mayda said.

"What's that?" Herbert asked.

"The water leaper just found a way onto the bridge."

Mayda cried out in surprise when Herbert grabbed her by the arms and threw her forward with a shout of "Take the girl!" She landed rather ungracefully at a heap in front of the water leaper as the bridge officers remembered the better part of valor.

"I see chivalry is dead," Mayda told the creature.

If she didn't know better she would actually think the water leaper was nodding in agreement.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter Five

"Wait, wait, wait, let me get this straight. You left a defenseless stewardess at the hands of a murderous animal?" Chief Officer Henry Wilde asked.

"We were trying to save Harry!" Herbert said.

"I understand having to make for a hasty retreat but leaving an innocent woman behind?" First Officer William Murdoch narrated. "That's just madness."

"I agree with Will."

James looked irritated and tried to change the subject, "And where were you two during this whole scuffle? I didn't see either of you trying to rescue her."

"We were busy confusing passengers and making them think that we were brothers," Will explained. "It's incredibly easy and Henry here does a great Scottish accent!"

"That's all fine and good but what about the girl?" Charles said.

"Oh, now you care! You're going to be cleaning up the mess that water leaper left behind! There's probably parts of her all over the bridge!" Henry lamented. "Mister Andrews will have a fit!"

"I'm sure our lover boys will be missing her too."

Immediately both James and Harold turned crimson.

"Oh, what a handsome shade of red they're turning. I'm sure it matches Miss O'Brian's blood that the water leaper has probably left all over the bridge by now!" Henry snapped. "You two go clean up the mess it made!"

"Sit!" Captain Smith instructed as the water leaper tried to bounce at him. "Sit boy!"

Immediately the water leaper did so to the best of its ability.

"I didn't know it could respond to verbal commands," Mayda admitted as she stood by him.

"Neither did I. I heard the officers scream and came to see what happened. I certainly didn't expect to see it calmly sitting there."

"I wonder where it learned English."

The captain could only shrug. "I haven't any idea but it does seem to understand. Will the chef be bringing that batch of herrings soon?"

"I believe so, sir. It must be hungry."

"Perhaps it'll be too hungry to feast upon Mister Lowe."

"He would be a big meal for such a small creature."

"Do you think they get larger than seven inches? More importantly, does it get bigger as it gets older? Does it get to seven inches long and then suddenly stop growing entirely? And why just seven inches long?"

Deciding it was in the mood for English food the water leaper jumped forward and latched onto Captain Smith's ankles.

"Gah! Bad water leaper! Bad!" The captain snapped. "Miss O'Brian, pass me that newspaper, would you?"

"Yes, sir."

Once the newspaper was in his hands Captain Smith rolled it up and swatted the water leaper with it. "Bad water leaper! Bad! Down boy! Down! No treat!"

Obediently the water leaper let go.

"We are going to have our work cut out for us in training it," Captain Smith said.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter Six

Harold and James quietly slinked their way up to the bridge while expecting the worst. To their shock and amazement they saw Captain Smith crouched down and dangling a herring above the water leaper's snapping jaws.

Even more surprising stewardess Mayda O'Brian was alive and well. She was even laughing at the tricks.

"You're alive!" James gasped.

"Yes, no thanks to either of ye!" Mayda coolly replied.

"Yes, gentlemen, you deck officers need to learn that you let the lady run first," Captain Smith said. "By the way, we have learned how to communicate with the water leaper?"

"What does it want?" Harold cautiously asked.

"A free meal."

"That's it?"

"Yes."

"So, it doesn't want to eat Harry?" James asked.

"Oh, it did and but it's too full of fish right now."

"But it may try to eat him later?"

"I tend to doubt it. It doesn't like its food on the run."

The water leaper turned to look over Harold who promptly screamed and ran away shrieking that he didn't want to be made into a stew.

"It doesn't like fast food then?" James asked.

"It does not Mister Moody. For your information it also isn't interested in mating. It's not mating season. I can't tell what gender it is as it's revealing no secrets."

"I think they look at each other and get pregnant," Mayda said.

"Really? I've heard of some little yellow butterflies that do that! Nature really is fascinating."

"Now what do we do?" James interrupted.

"We can return it to the sea," Captain Smith said. "I do imagine this may not be the last time we see it."

"Poor Harry is never going to sleep again at this rate!"

Captain Smith carefully picked up the water leaper by its tail and left the bridge. With one swift movement he cast it back into the sea.

"You're being quite calm about this, sir," James remarked when the captain returned.

"I've been in odd situations. Wait until you see the mermaids, now they know how to party! Oh, and I need to go see Miss Ruby."

"Are ye goin' to be dancin' around a fairy ring tonight, sir?" Mayda asked.

"It won't be me, my dear. I've signed up Mister Lightoller, Moody, Lowe, Pitman, and Boxhall to her event. I'm sure it will be especially entertaining. The water leaper might even join in."

Though they were busy confusing passengers with their siblings act Henry and Will suddenly stopped.

"Did you just hear five men scream in unison?" Will asked.

End.


End file.
